I Just Walked Away

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Out of the blue. A voice from my past. Decades past.
She was not kind why stay in touch?
Her brother. My first love. Young and foolish.
A bother and sister. Love and hate.
I just walked away. He couldn’t be trusted.
She kept in touch randomly sporadically
To taunt him
To gossip
A part of her that loved to hate
An assumed alliance perhaps
I just walked away.

A love triangle, plus one.
Me      number four
A destructive mé·nage à trois.
Cheaters never win       but it felt like       they did
I just walked away

Almost          at the cost of my life.

No one knew for years no one knew
Just One
My maker and I
He said without words
I have more
Move on
So I did
I wanted to die
Part of me did
I just walked away and left
them
and her the lost me
behind.

Pain followed.       Never forgotten.
Trust no one
Head and heart conspire
Games
Played over a wall built around me
Played in the dark
Infatuation. Repeat.
Break it off
Before they cheat       as if
A broken heart was inevitable
I just walked away

Value
Worth
I didn’t have much
I became the cheater
As if
Someone had to pay
I should have
Just walked away

She emerge from the dark
The past
She died from the inside      but not out
    A testimony
    A story
Why did I live
                       Why did she die
The secret had to be heard
Each time
Light illuminated darkness
A breath of New Life filled my lungs
A new voice        stronger yet timid
Refract the limelight to glorify Him
There was more to my story that is still being told.

The voice from the past that came out of the blue
Brought everything back
She told of her brother
   His wife
   And the other
The game continued for years
   but now
           it was over
So many years after I walked away
Ashamed and unworthy
I heard cheaters never win
But it felt like they did

I pondered this truth
An affirmation of my past
As much as it hurt
New light shined in the dark
A dark that
   almost
   cost my life.
I just walked away
I thought I lost     so much
       tangible things
       immeasurable things too
               my mind
               a part of my heart
               my ability to trust
I want to delight in their selfish demise
And yet I know
Grace and mercy were given
      My life
      Revived
The timing seemed strange
    the voice from the past
                           but it was right
I let go

I just walked away